The Book of Ages

Officer Zerix


Zerix is an Officer in the Virtupets Space Station Security Force. His job is to inspect the safety of unknown objects in space, but during the storm that destroyed Dacardia, his ship crashlanded. He lost his right antenna in an accident aboard the station, when he jumped into a machine to save his favourite plushie. He now wears a prosthetic that enhances his hearing.


Oogh, what to do, what to do... the captain isn't gonna be happy about this at all... Apologies, citizens! But by order of Officer Zerix of the Virtupets Space Station Security Force, I must ask you to please move along and ignore my crashed spaceship.
Oh no-no-no-no! I must insist you stay away, as it is very unsafe. Section ten, sub-section two, paragraph three of the Space Travel Safety Guidebook clearly states...
Thank you for repairing my ship. If I couldn't get it back home then I would have been in deep, deep, trouble... And you did it with no bumps, bruises, scrapes, or scabs, too! Shooting stars, that was the safest reconstruction of a smoking spaceship I've ever seen.
Okay, bye! No, wait. Before you go, I'd like to appoint you both my Official Unofficial Junior Safety and Security Cadets.
So, Cadet, would you like to help me inspect the safety hazards of that meteor beneath my ship? That's my job, after all: scrutinizing unsafe space oddities! When I first saw this meteorite shoot by, I hopped in my ship and took off in hot pursuit - WHOOSH! ZOOM! PEW PEW PEW! But I got swept up in a strange storm and blown off-course. And then... KRA-KOW! I crash-landed and everything broke., including my tools, which are vital to my mission. But I'm sure we can make new ones with whatever we salvage from the ship!
A Magnet! Nice find. This should be perfect for sweeping over that Crash Site and finding anything unusual.
That Magnet's gonna be helpful, but I don't think it'll be enough to get the job done safely. We're gonna have to craft another thing. Like a tool. How about we make a Magnet Claw? That way we can grab any unsafe stuff from the meteor without having to get close to all the space radiation. You've got a Workshop on this island, right? Head on over there to get crafting. But make sure you don't accidentally hammer your thumb when you make the Magnet Claw!
That's a Magnet Claw all right! It's not as sleek as refined as the ones they give out to real security officers of the VSSSF, but it's more than close enough to work. It's a handy little thing, too. One of the least dangerous ways to collect and gather unusual objects, because you don't have to touch anything yourself! As the Safety Cadet Training Manuel states: "Don't hurt your paw - use a Magnet Claw!"
I know it's a little scary since you've probably never done this before, but that's okay, because Officer Zerix is here to keep you safe. Just head on up to the Crash Site and check for anything unsafe, like broken glass or some rusty metal. I'll be right behind you the whole time, Cadet!
Never take anything from a stranger.
A little slab of metal? It looks like a hinge or something. That doesn't seem so weird. Metal is everywhere on the Space Station, after all... Wait! Did you find that on the meteorite? Metal hinges aren't supposed to be on meteorites! Unless... It was carrying something? Hmm... I don't think space rocks are typically used as transportation, though. It's hardly a safe method without seatbelts.
Investigate? Sorry, my friend, but that's a no-can-do! No unapproved civillians near dangerous spacecraft-crashes unless approved. It's VSSSF Policy. You could get hurt.
Hiding? I'm not hiding anything! I'm just worried for your safety, honest! If you want to investigate, you'll have to get approval or find someone who already has it.
What does the safety manual say about stubborn Lutaris...? Oh, rocket-rust, it's still on the ship. How am I supposed to know the protocol without the manual? If only my ship were fixed... then I could go grab the thing and tell her not to put herself at risk!
If you're asking a friend to help, make sure they walk into the ship on their tippy-toes to avoid any broken glass or spilled fuel. Always be aware of your surroundings! There should be lots of useful things to gather on my ship. Like snacks, knee pads, Magnets...
Did you forget what we need to make? It's called a Magnet Claw and it's a really useful tool for safety guards like me. And non-safety guards too!
This is all very routine, but you never know when you might find something unsafe, even in your own ship! So please gather anything unusual that sticks out to you. Or even better, to the Magnet Claw. I'll prepare the scanners and safety equipment.
Hi, Lania! Hi, Official Unofficial Junior Safety and Security Cadet! I seem to have stumbled upon a most fascinating structure here. I'm not sure what it is, but it's quite noisy. My prosthetic antenna enhances my hearing but I'm sure if you really listen carefully you'll pick up on all these sounds and echoes too.
Wow, this place looks totally brand-new. Like you just built it from scratch instead of fixing up what was already here! And you did it by following all the proper handling measures of heavy machinery, tiny tools, Crabby-bot union regulations, workplace singalongs - wait. Shh. Do you hear that? Shh! Just listen...
I'll keep a lookout here while you try to gather that strange echoey-sound thingy. But proceed with caution; there's lots of dangerous stuff out there!
Great! Can you make out what's being said? It's too quiet for even my enhanced prosthetic antenna hearing to pick out the words properly. I wonder if there's a way to make the voice louder...
Hm... how are we going to make this sound louder? It's not like we can just make the stranger speak up. Even with my enhanced hearing... Wait, maybe that's it! We can craft a tool to amplify the sound. Some kind of... sound... amplifier... thingy.
You figured it out! Let's just have ourselves a little listen... Oh, but wait. Maybe we shouldn't do it here. The loud noises might break those crystal doohickeys. Miss Ruki warned me about that. Let's go somewhere else. Maybe your friend Skippi's place? She would probably want to know about the stranger anyway.
No ruckus here! Section nine sub-section eighty-one of the VSSSF manual states: "Ruckuses are unsafe and must not, under any circumstances, be caused." But hullaballoos are fine! In fact, we're in a bit of a hullaballoo right now! We were inspecting the cnayon over there for safety hazards, and we heard a mysterious voice... It could have something to do with your storm case! But either way, I'm worried it could be a stranger with ill intent. I made sure to keep us safe with the buddy system, but -
I'm getting kind of hungry... Do you think there are any marshmallows around here?
That's one of the first things they teach you in safety school and VSSSF cadet training: "Never look a Money Tree in the mouth, but always approach with hedge clippers!"
Be cautious when handling strange objects.
What do you suppose that means, Skippi?
You didn't get injured while searching for this evidence, did you? If you did, I must ask you to file an S4F3-T form...
Sorry to interrupt Skippi, but I'm going to go back to the Plateau. Now that I know there's no villain there, I have to continue my safety inspection. Also, I think you've got a customer at the paint shop...
I know but I have to make sure you're following proper protocol beyond just that...
Gadgads-zooks! I think you might be right. And since there are no safety inspectors here to check, the duty must fall to me. Please excuse me while I check it out. I'll be back before you can say "Policy B3-3G-335." Which, by the way, states that...
Looks like everything is in order at the Glitterbug Disco. I demonstrated how to bust a move without busting bones and passed out pamphlets on how to avoid Santurday Night Fevers. Otherwise, everything is in stellar shape. All regulations have been met and safety criteria fulfilled.
I think we can start allowing Neopets in to boggie their bad days away. Ooh, we could even have a grand opening! I'll set up the safety pylons-
Good news, Lania! The Glitterbug is a huge success. There was no panicking at that disco, that's for sure!
Wa ha ha! "Sound." Good one. Anywho, I see you were busy while I did my inspection of the building. Those houses look really good! But... Everything is so sparkly and shiny and shimmery around here, I was kind of expecting the houses to be the same. I'm a little surprised they're not.
Paint acquired in a safe yet timely manner. Let's go take this back to Lania. But remember: walk, don't run! We don't want to drop the paint or stub our toes.
It looks like Lania is busy drawing over there. Maybe she's doodling a diagram-thingy on how to safely hammer a nail without hitting your thumb? Hey, let's try and surprise her to cheer her up. We'll paint a Neohome before she even notices we're back from the painty-place!
I don't think it matters which house we decide to paint, just as long as we wear our paper masks so we don't breathe in any harmful fumes. Those are definitely not safe.
Shooting stars. It looks amazing!
Oh. Um... you're welcome?
While normally I'd be worried about the eye strain of wearing red shoes and dancing the blues, it looks like your friend had a good, safe, fun time. I guess that means my inspection and my pamphlets were a success! Now, always remember: "Grease is the word, but it doesn't make for a safe dance floor!"
Watch out! Beware! Things aren't always as they seem.
If you're going to be doing a lot of building, you should wear a hard hat.
Do you need an extra pair of safety goggles? I have lots.
Even if you're in a big hurry, it's always safer to walk than it is to run.
I wonder what the Captain is up to? He probably misses me a lot.
Stay alert! Stay safe!
Skippi sure does seem to have a lot of fun investigating, don't you think?
Remember to always tell someone you trust if something makes you uncomfortable.
Never take anything from a stranger.
Always expect the unexpected.
I know you're a great builder, Lania, but I am really worried... You see, one time I messed with a big machine in the depths of the Virtupets Space Station. It was whirry and clanky and sharp and shiny... but I jumped in anyway to save my favourite plushie, and ended up losing an antenna! And then-
A least fill out the proper safety forms before you rebuild that big crystal structure!
I'll keep a lookout here while you try to gather that strange echoey-sound thingy. But proceed with caution; there's lots of dangerous stuff out there!
I do trust you, but it's always safer to have a spotter while you sketch blueprints. You could get a pencil in the eye! Or choke on eraser bits!
You know how to craft a Sound Amplifier, right? I don't. But you'll have to use a Synth Sound or something to do it. That makes sense, doesn't it?
I gotta admit, I may have taken a moment at the Glitterbug Disco to have a little dance break myself. I could show you the dance if you like. Here: you put your hands in the air... Wait, where are you going? I need to teach you this dance before you send Neopets to the Disco, otherwise they might pull a paw or strain their whiskers!
We need to head over to Skippi's shop to make Paint, right? Then let's get going. I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I hope Skippi knows how to make Paint that will satisfy Lania. She's kind of a Grumblebug, isn't she? I just want to make sure she isn't getting hurt...
How come you're talking so funny, Skippi? Not that I don't like being called Officer, but...
Oh! Then maybe you can help me with my own mystery. I keep hearing a weird voice on my radio. It sounds kind of like the voice we heard at the big echoey-crystally-place...
I know you need a Sound Amplifier to start with. Just make sure you're careful with it, though. Radio Tuners can be dangerous if you're not paying attention. They could zap you! Or you could stick yourself in the eye with it. Or you could drop it on the floor and break it into teeny-tiny pieces that you could step on and...
It should be nice and safe in there too, don't worry. I try to keep my ship spick-and-span so there's no chance of tripping over stuff that's just lying around.
Me too, if I had a Paint Shop to bet. I'll keep listening to my radio and see if I can learn anything else about this bad guy... And I'll leave the dangerous stuff to you for now.
Aren't there a few giant statues around the island?

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